Try a "Yes Day" in Negotiations

I was reading Yes Day! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld to my three year old grandson, Jack. After reading it to him only once, it is now his favorite book.

The tag line is "What do you call a day when every answer is yes?" The answer is "Yes Day!" There are questions such as: 1) Can I please have pizza for breakfast? 2) Can I clean my room tomorrow? and 3) Can we stay up really late? In the real world outside our book, the answer to such questions usually is "no", but the book advocates saying "yes" on "Yes Day."

The alternatives to "Yes Day" are the thirty-four ways to say "no" such as
1)"No way, Jose Day",
2) "Hands on Hips Day,
3) "Not Today Day,"
4)When Pigs Fly Day," and
5) "Read My lips Day".

You get the idea. We are so programmed to say "no" that we hardly ever say "yes" anymore.

Yes Day! is a children's book, but it is really geared toward the parents and grandparents, who are reading the book to the kids. They are usually the ones saying "no."

I was thinking that "Yes Day" also has application to adult negotiations. We are conditioned to say "no" to any idea or suggestion that someone else makes. We almost automatically say no to an idea that is not ours. Somehow "no" is much easier to say than "yes" and that continues throughout our lives. Why is that? Is it just easier to use one of the 34 "no" excuses? The people in the "Yes Book" look as though they are having fun by staying up late, having food fights and getting piggy back rides. Maybe we could have more fun saying "yes" more often and we are missing out saying "no" all the time.

In an adult negotiation, you might take the other side by surprise by saying "yes." You might catch them off guard since we usually expect an argument. What are we afraid of? Is there some commitment in saying "yes"? Are we hesitant to agree to trying something new? Do we think we look weak? Do we think we are the only ones with good ideas? That reminds me of the pillow I recently saw that says, "I am not bossy, I just have better ideas!"

If you don't want to be perceived as "giving in", You can always say we will try it this once or we will put in a pilot program to see if it works.

Try having a "Yes Day" and see where it takes you!

Let me know if it works.

Mary Greenwood, Attorney Mediator, and Author of How to Negotiate like a Pro, 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes How To Mediate Like A Pro Available at http://www.amazon.com

Email: Howtonegotiate@aol.com
blog: http://howtonegotiatelikeapro.blogspot.com

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